It may feel like the only way to meet new friends or dates in your local queer community is through dating apps or bars and clubs, and so often that comes with the expectation of drinking alcohol. For those who are sober or those who simply aren’t night owls, we’ve put together some ideas on how you can use Lex to connect with your localLGBTQ+ community, make friends & find dates - without the need for alcohol.
Take a sober approach to queer nightlife
Going out with friends while sober can feel uncomfortable for some if your friends are drinking and often, it seems like the only way to meet new queer people to date or make new friends is at gay and lesbian bars or clubs. But plenty of people are sober and still love dancing or hanging at queer, lesbian and gay bars! Here are some of our ideas on how to enjoy local queer nightlife while sober:
- Start a group chat on Lex for local sober folks who want to go out together and make plans to go dancing at bars (soberly!)
- Check out different bars together and see how strong their mocktail games are, or try out their non-alcoholic beer selection (I like Atheltic Brew!). If mocktails or other non-alcoholic drinks aren’t on the menu, research some simple ones that bartenders can whip up for you!
- If you’re lucky enough to have a local NA (Non-alcoholic) bar, make a night of it with some new friends or a date!
- Bring a simple & small game, like Uno, Codenames, or Sushi-Go to a bar and hog a table with your friends with you sip on a diet coke, seltzer or your favorite mocktail.
- Organize an at-home mocktail night with friends and have everyone get creative with their recipes! You could even treat this as a 'pre-game' to enjoy the ritual of going out without the alcohol - whatever suits your sober needs
Volunteer with queer social impact groups
Connect with local (or global!) queer friends or dates over a shared love of social justice work. In most cities you’ll find groups of people:
- organizing mutual aid for local community members
- doing park clean ups
- attending protests, or
- stocking community fridges.
These are wonderful ways to meet like-minded LGBTQ+ folks who share the same passions as you. Having a common mission will give you something to do with your hands and talk about, taking away some social pressure the same way alcohol does for many.
Connect with new LGBTQ+ friends through art
Whether or not you’re artistically inclined, there are tons of ways to build new relationships with other queer, gay and lesbian people through art. Attend a drag show, get friends together to see that new exhibit by a Queer BIPOC painter, or just meet to sketch together in a cafe or outdoors in a park.
On the Lex Groups Discovery page, tap ‘Art’ and find a group already doing this, or start your own to:
- Visit exhibits at local museums
- Sketch in a cafe
- Sign up for an art class or two
- Organize a skill-share night
- Attend live music, queer poetry slams, or drag shows
Have fun doing outdoor activities
Find your next queer crush at the next Lex Hiking Group meet-up! Spending time outdoors, whether doing more intense activities like hiking or more accessible activities like park walks, will give you a low-pressure way to connect with new people in the queer community, plus a natural serotonin boost from the movement and fresh air. Queer folks, in cities especially, use Lex to organize all kinds of outdoor activities such as:
- Queer walks and hikes - meeting for monthly for walks in new parks or low-impact hikes
- Gardening or park clean-ups
- Queer sports clubs - like pickup soccer games, pickle ball, jogging groups, or cycling groups. It can be so healing for people to do the sports they love without the pressure of high school gender expectations!
- Foraging - learn from local witchy gays and learn about your environment while sharing a bushel of blueberries
Share your love of food
Nightlife doesn’t have to just mean alcohol or drunken nights - for many, it can mean good food, good conversation and a lot of laughter! If you’re a food connoisseur, trust there are others like you on Lex. Search the groups tagged in the Food & Drink Category on Lex and find your people! If there isn’t a group yet, that’s your sign to start one. Here are some ideas:
- Queer up a local cooking class by getting a group of gays together to attend
- Organize themed potlucks, like the NYC Queer Supper Club. Themes can be colors, cuisines, certain ingredients, you name it! Challenge group members to bring something tasty and creative and enjoy connecting with your LGBTQ+ community over an abundance of fun flavors
- Make a book club, but for restaurants! Check out local affordable spots and review them together. Get to know your neighborhood and some local queer cuties at the same time!
Get creative & find your people
Sobriety doesn't have to mean staying home. Staying sober can be fun, and it really opens up a world of new possibillities when you're not hungover from being drunk the night before. Whatever you’re into, there are queer, lesbian, gay and trans people on Lex who love it just as much as you. Embrace your passions and dig into the Groups Discovery page on Lex to see who’s out there. You’ll find so much more than what we listed above, like:
- Board game clubs
- Sober dating groups
- Kink groups
- Bands who need you to join them ASAP
- Political groups
- And more things we can’t even begin to think of!
You name it, if it's queer it’s definitely on Lex. Meeting queer people doesn’t just have to happen at bars or over drinks. It can happen when you’re feeling your most YOU (which might be while you’re tied up with rope or while you’re filling a foraging basket with some stunning morels. You do you, babe!!)
.png)
.png)
%20(1)%20(1)%20(1)%20(1)%20(1).png)
.jpg)
